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 I have never had a more difficult or insane set of swim classes in the entirety of of teaching career. Like, holy fucking shit. These kids are crazy. They are actively trying to kill themselves during the entirety of the lesson. Not even kidding.

So, this is me explaining to the world what swim lessons are, from a teacher's perspective. As parents seem to have an entirely different idea about this.


Swim lessons are an opportunity for your child to learn, from a trained expert, how to swim. They learn techniques to be a stronger and more efficient swimmer, in a safe and fun environment. Parents can, in fact, take this job on themselves, if they so desire. Anyone who knows how to swim can teach someone else how to swim. But they pay for this opportunity so that someone who really knows they're shit can do it better than they could.

Swim lessons are a class. This means that the child should approach the class in the same way they'd approach school. I understand that kids have super short attention spans. Like, I totally get that. Kids will get distracted, and they'll want to play. But they should also know that this is class time, and they should try to - oh, I don't know - listen to their teacher? Just an idea.

Half an hour of daycare, five days a week.

Parents: please, think about what I've said. Please, don't give your kids candy or coffee immediately before lessons.

I'd really appreciate it.